Rainy play days

I love it.

*pictures by To the Moon & Back Photography

We're going on a bear hunt!

We're going on a bear hunt. We're gonna catch a big one! What a beautiful day! We're not scared.

Uh-Oh! Grass! Long, wavy grass! We can't go over it, we can't go under it... we have to go... THROUGH it!! Swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy!!

Kezzy, Meya, Anela, & Kayla love that story. I've read it a million times to them and have become quite amazing at reading it entirely too animated if I do say so myself... and I do say so myself. I'm even breathless by the end of the story.

But I've come to love this little story because isn't this how life is?

In the battle between the spirit and the flesh, as much as we'd love to go over it and be above it, we've set ourselves up for failure when we attempt to build ourselves up to be above the struggle.

As we try to go under it and fly under the radar, we get sucked up in it with the curiosity of wondering what we're missing.

But when we decide to suck it up and go through it, though we may cut the bottoms of our feet with that wretched long wavy grass, get beat up by the winds of that snow storm, die a death or two in that frigid and deep river, get ourselves stuck in that miry mud that cakes between our toes, end up breathless running through that dark forest stumbling and tripping with scratches and cuts throughout our bodies, or braving the cave to come face to face with the ginormous bear, we all end up running back into the safety of that comforting place-- the arms of our Father.

Some journeys last longer than others and we may face more than one journey at a time. Sometimes it takes longer for us to return home from that dark cave. And yet we know Who's been on that journey holding our hand the entire time through the swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy's, the who-woo, who-woo, who-woo's, splish, splosh, splish, splosh, splish, splosh's, the squerch, squish, squerch, squish, squerch, squish's, the stumble-trip, stumble-trip, stumble-trip's, or the tip-toe, tip-toe, tip-toe's, and yes, especially on that sprint all the way home.

The battle between the spirit and the flesh continues...

A Change of Pace

I'm realizing I'm supposed to be a part of something big. Radical. Life-changing. World-shaking. Mind-boggling. And I realize, I'm not ready. It's crazy because I know. And yet, it's almost as if the minute I say "I'm ready" I'll be whisked off on this incredible journey that my heart screams for. And is willing to die for. At some point. But I'm not ready. Or maybe I don't want it. Not yet anyway.

It almost feels like nothing and everything is happening all at the same time. The excitement freezes up into fear and then melts into estactic-ness all over again.

I realize God's just waiting on me to be willing. And to be used. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't playing hide-and-seek with Him at this very moment. I almost feel like Jonah; just about ready to do whatever it takes to out-run and out-hide Yahweh. As long as I don't have to do what I think He's looking for me to do. And yet, isn't this what I've been waiting for--something big; something radical; something life-changing?

I'm never really that careful with what I wish for... because I tend to wish for bigger things that I'm never really that ready for.

And yet, somehow I am. It's just that safety net I have to scoot over onto the edge of it and look down. Whether it's too far down or the landing is in view, there's a landing somewhere. And I know that He'll never let me fall so far down that I can't be saved. I do somehow always expect that He's not going to challenge me. And that He'll keep me comfortable. Because "bad things" aren't supposed to happen to me. They happen to other people, but not me. I somehow feel like I merit good days 365 times a year; and then some. But the truth of the matter is, He doesn't want me to be comfortable... He wants me to live up to my highest potential and a lot of times, almost always, probably moreso always, that requires uncomfortable nudges that turn
into pushes when I try to resist.

I used to always be afraid that if I don't do it, who will? The truth is, God will use someone else & choose to bless someone else with the opportunity. And then I'll be back to wishing for newer things to happen and wondering why they never do.

It's the every day battle between the spirit and the flesh... the desire for courage and bravery over the easy cop-outs that in the long run are long-forgotten.

I'm working on it.

17 Again

I know Zac Efron is like 16 (not really, I think he's like 20?), but seriously, can he get any cuter??

Hli and I 1/2 chipotle chicken sandwich & a cup of chicken wild rice soup'ed (Hli had the Greek salad instead of the soup) at Panera on Saturday night. Yum. I love that place. And I think I'm going to low-fat Greek salad it for a couple weeks (I do these little stints as part of my wedding-diet... bad, I know-- I'm so sick of lean cuisines)-- so if anyone has any good Greek salad recipes/renditions, pass them on over :)


Anyway, we went and saw 17 Again. I'm such a tween at heart... cause I <3'd the movie. haha. It was cute, funny, and really feel-goody... and again, Zac Efron... hot. haha.

I'm dragging Chris to go see it at some point... or renting it anyway. He's so excited if you had to ask... (not really. At all.).

I met the cutest little blond girl in a pink dress and yellow rain boots yesterday. She was absolutely adorable.


And the cutest little boy evAr.


And then discovered an entire playground of antique cars out in the country.




You can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl.

**All images from To the Moon & Back Photography

I know. I know.

Inexcusable. Unpardonable. Unforgivable. Unjustifiable.Indefensible. Intolerable. Deplorable. Awful. Unwarrantable. (Anymoresynonyms? My thesaurus stopped at those.)

I’ve been MIA. And I have so much catching up to do.

It’s been a long, LONG, week and a half since Chris left to go back home. Crazy how it feels like it’s been weeks upon months already. I never thought this would be harder than it was a year ago. It totally is.

Anyway, there have been lots to do and be busied with. My parents’ surprise bash is coming along well. We’ve set the menu, reserved (almost, anyway, just getting the contract in it’s final stages) the place, set our guest list, invites are in the making… the plan is in the making! It’s at a cute little nature center with an apple orchard next to the site itself with a concrete path that winds around the trees. As far as décor, we’re thinking simple and clean tea lights in mason jars on shepherd’s hooks. So excited!

Wedding plans are also in a fuller swing. The 3 bridesmaids dresses are in—though I’ll need to exchange Rachel’s -- and then send them out to the girls. Hli’s dress has been purchased as well and so has my mom’s. The only person left is Pa Houa. I’m so glad everything seems a little more set. I do have to get crackin at my invites though. Whew. Set. In. Stone.

Oh! We’ve also decided on the guys’ attire-- we’re going to go simple and clean with a gray button up shirt and charcoal tie and Chris is going with the suit vest but without the actual jacket with a white shirt and the charcoal tie. I love it and it looks so great on him.

Our menu is set as well. Yum. I. Can’t. Wait.

Speaking of yum, Easter was peachy. The potluck after church was nice and I’m realizing how much I honestly love my little church family.

On a deeper note, Anela, Kayla, & Meya reminded me this weekend of what matters most during this remembered day. You see, they had an egg hunt on Saturday with the rest of the kids’ program where my sister is the children’s programs director. There were eggs filled with candy scattered everywhere and among them also sat the completely empty ones that many times were thrown to the side because they were empty. Kayla, Anela, & Meya (& Kezzy!)were excited regardless of if the eggs they found were empty or not. Turns out, every one of the eggs that they picked up were empty. They smiled and laughed and were ecstatic, anyway.

As the kids sat down, the story of the death and resurrection of Christ was shared and I wondered if those little girls understood what was being shared at all.

Later that day, I told Anela to tell Tais-Tais & PaPa what they learned and she went through the whole finding the eggs and then I asked her if we should be sad when the egg is empty. She goes “Noooo. Jesus is not dead.”

Amen.

All in good timing

It's so hard to get back into the swing of things once Chris leaves.

Gah my fingers are freezing.

I am craving something and I have no idea what it is.

Happy Tuesday!

It's somethin!!

Headed out to pick up my Baby from the airport. Boo because the flight's a little delayed, but I can't wait to kiss him!

Sorry, it's been a hellish week. I'll be in soon, promise.

Toodles!