Kayla: "Auntie, are you going to live with Chris?"
Me: "Yes. In California."
Kayla: "Oh. Are you going to come home?"
Me: "... but I'll have a home with Chris."
Kayla: "Aww... but I'm going to miss you, Auntie."
Broke. My. Heart.
And I did it.
The other night, I let myself cry and grieve my journey to getting here. It's weird with this trip coming up to SoCal tonight (my flight leaves at 9:45 pm and lands at 11:30 pm). I almost feel guilty because I'm not completely excited like I "should" be. I mean, shouldn't I be? I'm seeing the soon-to-be-hubs and we're going to apartment/home shop and spend time with this family... but in the midst of this, I won't be here to spend a weekend of "nothing" with my family. I tear up every time I think about it now. Is it okay that I feel this way?
When does the missing stop hurting so much?
I'll miss my little Kayla, Anela, Meya, & Kezzy.
I'll miss Hli and Paaj and the BFF bond only we've been able to share.
I'll miss Mom and her nagging/teaching me how to be a better woman after God's own heart.
I'll miss Dad's quirks of learning useless information just to school waiters/waitresses at their own restaurant.
I'll miss Cheng's blaring electric guitar playing on Saturday mornings.
I'll miss Josh's stupid alarm clock that I've woken up many times just to storm into his room to completely unplug it instead of just turning it off.
I'll miss the birthday dinners that are so carefully planned so no one is missing.
I'll miss the Thanksgiving dinners that Cheng and Josh actually volunteer to cook.
I'll miss the time I spend with my sisters knowing that we can vent to each other about ANYthing.
I'll miss the best hugs and kisses in the world from the little kiddies.
And it hurts every time I think of those things.
I can't wait for this journey into marriage with the most amazing man ever, but I can't help but wish that somehow, if it was possible, I'd move everyone to our own private island where no one would ever have to leave. I guess that's what Heaven is for. I know, I act like somehow I won't be able to visit. That's just it, isn't it, though? Next time, it won't be "coming" home to MN... it'll be visiting.