Oh where Oh where can she be?

Is it is weird that we're still trying to settle into the married life? Isn't it fabulous? *grin*

Guess what my birthday present was? A brand new apartment. It's pretty much love.

Even SoCal doesn't offer later sunsets so my after-work jogs have been... non-existent. Oh I miss them. And so does my wedding dress. hah.

How are you, friend?

Where arrrrre you?

I've been busy house-wife-ing and also job hunting. It's been nice being able to be home with the husband and sleep in the same bed and kiss him good morning.

I miss my family and my heart aches for my nieces and my nephew SO much, but Chris has been really good to me. We're having fun with being newlyweds-- cooking dinner together, running errands together, laundry, and making this place ours.

Yay!to my older sister-- I'm adding another little bundle to love! :)

Someday I'll get into a regular blogging mode. I do keep up with you guys though so keep 'em coming :) & you saw my pictures right?

How sweet it is...

to be loved by you.

Short-term "Cannot wait" list

• Tomorrow's 2 mile run after work. Believe me, I've missed it!
• Summer's arrival!
• BBQs at the park
• My first bridal shower in 3 weeks!
• Bridal portraits with my sisters when I get my dress back from the seamstress
• Chris' next visit in approx. 3 1/2 weeks!
• MI in about a month
• Our parents' surprise bash at the end of June
• SoCal at the end of July!
• Camping trip at some point this summer! I love it! 
• September 19th, 2009!! Eeep!

What's your list?

We're going on a bear hunt!

We're going on a bear hunt. We're gonna catch a big one! What a beautiful day! We're not scared.

Uh-Oh! Grass! Long, wavy grass! We can't go over it, we can't go under it... we have to go... THROUGH it!! Swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy!!

Kezzy, Meya, Anela, & Kayla love that story. I've read it a million times to them and have become quite amazing at reading it entirely too animated if I do say so myself... and I do say so myself. I'm even breathless by the end of the story.

But I've come to love this little story because isn't this how life is?

In the battle between the spirit and the flesh, as much as we'd love to go over it and be above it, we've set ourselves up for failure when we attempt to build ourselves up to be above the struggle.

As we try to go under it and fly under the radar, we get sucked up in it with the curiosity of wondering what we're missing.

But when we decide to suck it up and go through it, though we may cut the bottoms of our feet with that wretched long wavy grass, get beat up by the winds of that snow storm, die a death or two in that frigid and deep river, get ourselves stuck in that miry mud that cakes between our toes, end up breathless running through that dark forest stumbling and tripping with scratches and cuts throughout our bodies, or braving the cave to come face to face with the ginormous bear, we all end up running back into the safety of that comforting place-- the arms of our Father.

Some journeys last longer than others and we may face more than one journey at a time. Sometimes it takes longer for us to return home from that dark cave. And yet we know Who's been on that journey holding our hand the entire time through the swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy's, the who-woo, who-woo, who-woo's, splish, splosh, splish, splosh, splish, splosh's, the squerch, squish, squerch, squish, squerch, squish's, the stumble-trip, stumble-trip, stumble-trip's, or the tip-toe, tip-toe, tip-toe's, and yes, especially on that sprint all the way home.

The battle between the spirit and the flesh continues...

A Change of Pace

I'm realizing I'm supposed to be a part of something big. Radical. Life-changing. World-shaking. Mind-boggling. And I realize, I'm not ready. It's crazy because I know. And yet, it's almost as if the minute I say "I'm ready" I'll be whisked off on this incredible journey that my heart screams for. And is willing to die for. At some point. But I'm not ready. Or maybe I don't want it. Not yet anyway.

It almost feels like nothing and everything is happening all at the same time. The excitement freezes up into fear and then melts into estactic-ness all over again.

I realize God's just waiting on me to be willing. And to be used. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't playing hide-and-seek with Him at this very moment. I almost feel like Jonah; just about ready to do whatever it takes to out-run and out-hide Yahweh. As long as I don't have to do what I think He's looking for me to do. And yet, isn't this what I've been waiting for--something big; something radical; something life-changing?

I'm never really that careful with what I wish for... because I tend to wish for bigger things that I'm never really that ready for.

And yet, somehow I am. It's just that safety net I have to scoot over onto the edge of it and look down. Whether it's too far down or the landing is in view, there's a landing somewhere. And I know that He'll never let me fall so far down that I can't be saved. I do somehow always expect that He's not going to challenge me. And that He'll keep me comfortable. Because "bad things" aren't supposed to happen to me. They happen to other people, but not me. I somehow feel like I merit good days 365 times a year; and then some. But the truth of the matter is, He doesn't want me to be comfortable... He wants me to live up to my highest potential and a lot of times, almost always, probably moreso always, that requires uncomfortable nudges that turn
into pushes when I try to resist.

I used to always be afraid that if I don't do it, who will? The truth is, God will use someone else & choose to bless someone else with the opportunity. And then I'll be back to wishing for newer things to happen and wondering why they never do.

It's the every day battle between the spirit and the flesh... the desire for courage and bravery over the easy cop-outs that in the long run are long-forgotten.

I'm working on it.

Lahhdeedah!

How was your Christmas? Can you believe we're on the LAST week of 2008?? Geez, where did 2008 go?!

Christmas was pretty low-key, but good. My brother was in MI with his fiance this year which is a little sad (me being selfish, sorry) being that this is my last Christmas with my family as a single woman, but he'll be home tomorrow and we'll have New Year's together. He missed out on the waterpark hotel though. We booked a night there for our family with the nieces and nephew. It was fun! I didn't get a whole lot of pictures since we were busy hot-tubbin it up and water-slidin' galor-ious, but good times, good times. My nieces received a chest full of dress up clothes and squealed with glee, it was so cute! I love these little girls and they're growing up way too fast for my liking.


Here's Anela and I before heading downstairs-- it was 8 am! They were excited and woke EVERYONE up to go down to breakfast and then swimming. She's hilarious cause she talks SOOO much-- AND is way smart. Funny story about Anela-- The girls aren't supposed to say words like "crap" "stupid" "dumb" etc, and they're really good about catching anyone who does. She was sleeping in my bed last night because her parents dropped them off for the night and it was about 2 am and she had been sleeping for a good 4 or 5 hours so she's pretty dead asleep. Well, Chris called and we were talking and I said something was stupid and Anela mumbled something so I leaned over her and was like "Anela? Wha?" and she's still asleep, but goes "Don't say that bad word, Auntie..." *snoooore* Awesome-- she's even correcting me in her sleep.


Here's Meya. She's so freakin cute. & talks in 3rd person. Me: "who's going swimming?" Meya: "Meya!"


This is her stink face. And me trying to copy her. Hilarious because she's totally serious about stink face!


freakin cute.


Kayla is getting so big and spells EVERYTHING she sees-- she just started kindergarten this fall, but has learned SO much. There was a poster of a gorilla smiling and there in big letters above it reads SMILE. Kayla sat there and spelled it out going "S-M-I-L-E." We asked her what it spelled and she shouts ever so confidently-- "MONKEY!" hahahaha!



Oh life goes by so quickly and sometimes I wish it would just stop long enough for me to be able to catch up and then decide when and how it can/should proceed. I suppose that's the beauty of trust though... that I don't have to be the one who worries about those aspects of my life.

*P.S. My dress came in and I picked it up yesterday! I am SOOO in love!

Do you hear what I hear?

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

Yummy Christmas cookies are some of the best things in the world-- teehee. Not so good for my wedding diet, but YUMMM. Our sweet neighbors brought over some cookies-- peanut butter cookies with hershey kisses and sprinkles.



Josh had a couple and then I had 3! haha. Sooo good.
(I need to make some!!)

We got a light dusting of snow this morning and it was just gorgeous! The snow actually glitters! It's the Christmas glow :)

Christmas came quick this year... perhaps it's just a sign of getting old(er) or maybe I just need to slow down some. I know sometimes I get so caught up with all the responsibilities of being an adult... or at least playing the role. As a little kid, I looked forward to Christmas every year whether we had presents under the tree or not, but as I get older, it kinda just creeps up on me and it's hard to not get caught up with getting the ultimate gift for someone or even for yourself or just worrying about the year coming to a close, the economy, and all the other things that we "don't have."

I pray that in the midst of everything going on this year-- economy-wise or any other change that has currently bogged you down, that God's grace and love rains and pours all over you.

It is with great love and the warmest wishes, Merry Christmas, you!

Take the time to breathe and just enjoy!